Sunsets, Gin Bashes and Tommy Lasorda

Random thoughts while waiting for the charcoal to turn gray:

— Life is full of unheard hymns.

— Best mood lighting:  a summer sunset.

— Best inflation expert: A parent with a $400 cart of groceries.

— Best song ever: “Take Me Out to the Ballgame.”

— I can never tell the difference between a proclivity and a craving.

— Dudamel is to strings what Gehry is to steel.

— In LA, if you’re 15 minutes late, you’re early.

— My house is wired like a 12-year-old’s teeth.

— FYI, one molecule of a martini is better than a million molecules of wine.

— Social media is a herd of deer drowning in a pool of cherry blossoms.

— “I want to thank the Academy of Arts, Sciences and Money for this wonderful award.” (Mel Brooks after winning his Oscar for “The Producers”)

— Actor Brian Cox is the best British export since The White Album.

— But TV needs more blue-collar shows.

— For the record, we’re solidly upper, lower middle-class.

— Top average MLB ticket prices: Dodgers $209, Yankees $186, Red Sox $170.

— We’re No. 1!

— Money is the hardest drug.

— To honor their vendors, the Dodgers should erect a statue of Roger Owens, the greatest ever.

— He should also be in baseball’s Hall of Fame.

— FYI, I still owe $147,437.73 to the Columbia Record Club.

— And I can never tell “vintage” from “worn out.”

— The paranoia over AI reminds me a little of Y2K.

— Paul Simon’s most underrated song: “American Tune.”

I don’t know a soul who’s not been battered,

I don’t have a friend who feels at ease…

— “Teslas are now a demographic.” (Smartacus Erskine)

— Hey, Sarah Silverman. Who hurt you?

— Still, I think you’re brilliant.

— You should also be in baseball’s Hall of Fame.

— “Between two evils, I generally like to pick the one I never tried before.” (Mae West)

— For the record: Half the celebrities I’ve met are crazy.

— And I haven’t met the other half.

— The solution to nearly everything: Iced coffee with a scoop of caramel sea salt ice cream.

— These old shorts aren’t scruffy. They’re vintage.

— In the museum of the mind: Tommy Lasorda trotting out to the mound to berate a pitcher.

— In the museum of the heart: Gibby’s home run lap.

— In the museum of the soul: “America the Beautiful” by Ray Charles.

— Yellow mustard is the American Champagne.

— Trivia time: Blue cheese or ranch?

— FYI, nothing good is ever in parentheses (or so my daughter Rapunzel thinks).

— To be honest, the world hasn’t been right since they took the anchovies out of Caesar salads.

— Count on it: Christian McCaffrey will one day run the NFL.

— If you have a pet, you have half of all you need.

— “Her peace and her sweetness were such that when I held my ear to her heart
I could hear the sea.” (Ann Iverson, on the final moments with a dying pet)

— By the time you smell the toast, it’s probably too late.

— Same with my t-shirts.

— Can’t someone combine bug spray with a sunscreen?

— Did anyone grow up wanting to be a venture capitalist?

— July birthdays: Selena Gomez, 31; Tom Cruise, 61; Tom Hanks, 67; Ringo Starr, 83; Princess Diana would’ve been turning 62.

— “If elected, I will win.” (comedian Pat Paulsen’s campaign pledge)

— Sure admire Shohei Otani. But admire Kersh even more.

— Trivia answer: Blue cheese.

— Trivia time II: McDonald’s and Dairy Queen were both born in what year?

— “All that happens to us, including our humiliations, our misfortunes, our embarrassments…is given to us as raw material, as clay, so that we may shape our art.” (Jorge Luis Borges)

— FYI, the magic lamp in “I Dream of Jeannie” was actually a repurposed Jim Beam Christmas decanter.

— Consumer tip No. 1: Be sure to change your AC filter.

— Consumer tip No. 2: Stud finders are great for locating nails in tires.

— Consumer tip No. 3: Never buy the last piece of fish.

— Can’t wait to try Bludso’s new barbecue joint in Santa Monica.

— In the meantime, check out the brisket at Craft in Pasadena.

— “Like buuuuttah,” as my pal Irv always says.

— Trivia II answer: McD’s and Dairy Queen both started in 1940.

— “There are worse crimes than burning books. One of them is not reading them.” (Joseph Brodsky)

— Don’t you love the things you never see coming?

–Yes, you.

— Predictions: Rom-coms will return!

— So will the Rams.

— The Bruins will be in the Final Four — in football.

— So will USC.

— Wait, is that even possible?

— What isn’t anymore?

— “Summertime is always the best of what might be.” (Charles Bowden)

News flash: The Gin & Tonic Society of Los Angeles is holding a summer bash July 22 in a lovely backyard in Glendale. Please come. First 50 to respond are in. Bring a bottle of gin, an app, a dessert, or anything you’d like to contribute. The event begins at 6 pm. RSVP to Our thanks to Eileen and John for hosting. Cheers!

18 thoughts on “Sunsets, Gin Bashes and Tommy Lasorda

  1. You are right about blue cheese. I don’t understand the social media one, though. You nailed it on Paul Simon. My contribution: Best Visual Representation of Summer So Far: that picture of Cakes blowing bubbles. Thank you for another amazing list. Keep the smiles coming!

  2. Paul Simon, Ann Iverson, Bug Spray and Sun Screen (already on the market…don’t get it in your eyes!!)! Best way to wake up on a summer Saturday! Yellow mustard…only on Dodger Dogs!!! Adding Manhattan Beach sunsets! Thank you Chris!!

  3. Actually, Roger Owens IS in the HOF. I was there a couple years ago and found a picture of him slinging peanuts in one of the displays. Blew my mind and made me grin. He deserves to be there.

  4. Ah yes, Paul Simon’s, American Tune what a masterpiece. It is as prescient today as when it was written in 1975.

  5. Just love random thoughts. Blue cheese for the win every time. Summer sunsets in Holland, Michigan are hypnotizing. I highly recommend. Another random thought, “what matters most is how well you walk through the fire.” – Charles Bukowski.

  6. Wow. This is just what I needed today. I got home from the hospital last night after having a stroke on the 4th of July. The day started out fine w. my husband & a good friend drinking margaritas in our above ground pool (a Chicago-area staple in summer, as you should know!) and then I woke up in the ICU. Anyway, feeling better but appreciating little things more already. And your column in my in-box helped my recovery already! I’m close to being serenaded with “When I’m 64,” and am looking forward to that, too! Love you & yours, Mr. Erskine!

  7. As I prepare to go out & work in the front yard—YES sunscreen & maybe a eucalyptus botanical. Currently more stratified than a 7 layer dip.

  8. French’s yellow mustard ~ originally from my home town ~ Rochester, NY. Address: 1 Mustard Street.

  9. How about Robert Owens, not Roger. He was the black slave who worked jobs on the side in Texas to buy his freedom…came here…got a contract to move lumber out of what we call Hahamunga…hugely successful. When you hike Hahamonga, you are walking in his footsteps.

  10. At Long Last…Summah !!

    The wispy ghosts of remembered frost
    That have haunted the morning’s fire
    For so many noons have been hunted
    Down, extinguished by a juggernaut
    Of heat that suddenly appeared
    Rising like a phoenix in the air—
    An open eye staring at the day
    With a blunt consumptive passion;

    Light wet with green is quickly lost
    In the great red lifting of desire
    And water’s blue vision now seems stunted
    And withdrawn—fraying and gaunt
    The rouge lips of the hours leaving smeared
    Traces of their juice everywhere
    You look, afternoons falling away
    Like melting butter in the frisson
    And exploding expansion of light,

    You suddenly feel as if the night
    To come is dark with newly needed
    Mysteries, the days so point blank rich
    With warmth they invite the mind’s sleep
    Even when awake—slowing exceeded
    Only by the fury of light’s switch
    Burning off ambition, the sweet creep
    Of a honied fragrant pleasure
    Oozes onto the skin like warm cream—
    How thought seems the soul of leisure
    And now all you want to do is dream
    For we are immersed in a great spa
    Hot water rising, heat’s Shangri-la
    Sunlight at the throttle—it’s Summah !!

  11. I love your prose, but a good (not mass produced for grocery store sales) red wine beats any martini. Unless Dean Martin is holding it!

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