A Slow Boil

My takeaway from all the spittle, all the invective, was that we don’t know what we have till it’s taken away – like electricity, for instance.

What a Gift

Like most men, my father had no feeling in his face, so that when he ate ribs and buttery corn, he’d appear to have applied it externally, as you would an aftershave.

Seen Top Gun 57 Times

I’ve now seen “Top Gun: Maverick” 57 times. Obviously, I don’t just like old stuff. I’m also into new stuff that resembles old stuff.

Sorry About the PJs

We’re back in California, that Greek myth, a state that flew too close to the sun.

IT’S A BOY!!!

After Smartacus left, White Fang became an ironic, super-bored princess -- you know the type. Shaggy manes. Legs like palm trees. Look so great climbing out of a pool.

Here, Kitty Kitty

On Zillow, this LA treefort now lists for $1.7 million. “Needs a kitchen and some TLC. Comes with a bobcat.”

Top Gun Moments

Know who I remind myself of? Jimmy Piersall, baseball’s most-famous flake, who once described diapering this way: "Spread the diaper in the position of the diamond. Then fold second base down to home...