True story: Cervantes once took a civil service job with the Spanish Armada, messed up the money, went to prison, and got a really great book out of it. Sometimes, even when you lose, you win.
Category: Millennials
How to Avoid Stupid Trends
Jeez, I love sports bars. I like when the Buffalo sauce seeps into your cuticles till three days later. I like when the barmaids ring a little bell – ding-ding -- when you leave a tip.
Eyes Like Jewelry
My dream: To date Olivia Newton-John a while, then marry Carly Simon once James Taylor lost his hair. In the words of Manilow: “We dreamers have our ways…”
I Love LA — Mostly
Wherefore, O summer's day? (Emily Dickinson) Wherefore, O gin? (me)
Adventures in Babysitting
Taught them how to drill a penalty kick, finesse a 5-iron. Now my daughters are teaching me how to babysit my cherub-faced granddaughter.
Summer of Love
Who even cares about today's crop of movie stars, the whole boring lot of them. Our actors have never been less interesting. A giant gob of forgettable goobers.
What Will She See?
Know who she reminds me of? Helen of Troy. And Mary Queen of Scots, during the Reformation, the good years, before things got all complicated.
His Kissy Kindness
Hemsworth quit meat for movie kiss? “Because he wanted his breath to smell like lavender, empathy and light?”
Packing Up Freshman Year
"We're going to the North Pole," I tell her. Actually, we're off to fetch Smartacus, her cheeky sidekick, her partner in grime.
Top Gun Moments
Know who I remind myself of? Jimmy Piersall, baseball’s most-famous flake, who once described diapering this way: "Spread the diaper in the position of the diamond. Then fold second base down to home...