We did indeed end up at the Pechanga Indian Casino, where money is a recreational drug.
What a Year It’s Been
My dream workout? You dart from one slot machine to the next. When you finish, Dolly Parton brings you a shrimp cocktail.
Roses. Glue. Freeway fumes.
We welcomed the new year, at the float depot under a dank overpass: Roses. Glue. Freeway fumes. Haven’t been this high since college.
How to Avoid Stupid Trends
Jeez, I love sports bars. I like when the Buffalo sauce seeps into your cuticles till three days later. I like when the barmaids ring a little bell – ding-ding -- when you leave a tip.
My amazing daughters now live -- in this bewildering world of voodoo and deceit – as tributes to their no-nonsense mother.
Snoopy Has a Hangover
I recommend this red wine as a cure-all for insomnia, disenchantment, athlete’s foot, hair loss, gout. This isn’t Gatorade they’re pouring. It’s more like a bloody steak. Yum.
Sunlight on Diamonds
This engagement was like waiting for Germany to annex Austria, or for Bonnie to seduce Clyde. You knew they would, you just didn’t know exactly when.
The Year in Review
Psssssst, here’s America’s dirty little secret: There is no record of anyone ever keeping a New Year’s resolution.
Bask in the Blessings
Remember back when I accidentally drank decaf coffee for a few days and thought I was dying? That gave me perspective like nothing else.
Worst. Roommate. Ever.
In these days before Thanksgiving, we sit by the fire and listen for “returning feet and voices at the door,” as per Tolkien.