Did you know there were still Good Samaritans left in LA? Me neither. But there they were, helping me save the dog.
Category: White Fang
Something in Your Eye?
The golden retriever pup hears voices that aren’t even there. She hears the whispered second-thoughts of wayward angels … she hears aphids making out in the trees.
What Love Looks Like
I don’t think I could ever leave LA. You don’t quit on your team after a few bad seasons. Plus, there’s Damon’s. And Porto’s. And my attorney Billable Bob, a magnificent man and an inspiration to so many.
And…They’re Off!
I lost my entire fortune in the Great Depression of 2022. Yet, like most tycoons, I plan to start over again. At the race track.
To Live and Dine in LA
A foot-high fish sandwich ($23) arrives that reminds me of the final scene in Moby Dick, when they’re kabobing the poor whale – jab, jab, jab -- which might be a metaphor for dining out in Los Angeles.
LA’s Blanket of Lights
Have you ever gazed out at LA's famous sea of lights and thought: How many of those people are making love right now?
Stayin’ Alive
Calamity is everywhere lately. I almost drowned the other day while installing a water filter in the fridge.
Power of the Dog
The vet told Gary he had a choice: Either expensive surgery or a painful death for Jack. Gary chose the $3,000 surgery, for a mutt he barely knew.
Eyes Like Jewelry
My dream: To date Olivia Newton-John a while, then marry Carly Simon once James Taylor lost his hair. In the words of Manilow: “We dreamers have our ways…”
Summer of Love
Who even cares about today's crop of movie stars, the whole boring lot of them. Our actors have never been less interesting. A giant gob of forgettable goobers.