Random thoughts, while watching gophers excavate my yard, which now has more holes than Augusta National:
- —There should be a cologne that smells like spring training.
- –There should be a perfume called Opening Day.
- –If our cars worked like our Wi-Fi, we’d all be dead.
- –Funniest father in America? Shaq, who tells his kids: “We ain’t rich. I’m rich.”
- –Wine flies when you’re having fun.
- –Winter air smells like it’s just been born.
- –The louder the movie, the worse the movie.
- –If I ever opened a butcher shop, it’d be called “Meat Cute.”
- –There should be a breakfast cereal made of Thin Mints.
- –Most-mystifying double-reverse: Marie Kondo deciding that clutter is actually OK.
- –Best thing a wealthy man can leave his children? His grit.
- –In spring, “the Earth is like a child that knows poems by heart.” (writer Rainer Maria Rilke)
- –When did sushi get so expensive?
- –Once prices go up, they rarely come down.
- –I know it’s popular, but to me boba tastes like dog slobber.
- –I’ve missed a few days of church. But I’ve seen every single Super Bowl.
- –Super Bowl trivia: How many halftime shows has Taylor Swift performed in?
- –Best tacos in LA: Yuca’s, in Pasadena and Los Feliz.
- –Best canyon: Temescal.
- –The elegant old Pasadena Playhouse is a total treasure.
- –So is Pasadena City Hall.
- –So is Pasadena.
- –LA’s greatest work of art: an icy martini at Musso & Frank.
- –Another timeless pleasure: coffee and a local paper at the Fairfax Farmers Market.
- –Need a cosmic boost? Check out the soothing and remarkable Griffith Observatory Planetarium.
- –From Chinatown to the sea, Sunset Boulevard is LA’s connective tissue.
- –Still love my L.A. Times, but the Calendar section has become a joyless dud.
- –For a well-edited summary of the news, try The Week, a magazine that smartly sums up current events.
- –Good news of the day: Federal tax day in L.A. County has been pushed back to May 15, because of the impact of the earlier storms. No, really.
- –If the Titanic hadn’t sunk, would Leonardo DiCaprio still be a big star?
- –“Basically, I only play one character. I just play him at different volumes.” (the late Chris Farley)
- –Birthdays this week: Matt Groening, 69, John McEnroe, 64, The Weeknd, 33, and Farley, who would be turning 59.
- –After all these years, Bob Dylan still can’t sing.
- –And Sunday’s Grammys sounded like a symphony of chainsaws.
- –Driving onto a studio lot still gives me goosebumps.
- –Best TV theme song of all time? “MASH”
- –Runner-up: “Taxi”
- –Second-runner up: “WKRP in Cincinnati”
- –Third runner up: “Hawaii Five-0.”
- –And the theme from “The Mary Tyler Moore Show” rounds out my top 5.
- –“I’ve had a man and I’ve had a woman, and there’s got to be something better.” (actress Tallulah Bankhead)
- –Yes, that was her real name.
- –All food is comfort food.
- –OK, whatever happened to broasted chicken?
- –Everything tastes better with bacon or cheese.
- –If I drove for Uber Eats, I’d have to sample everything.
- –“The best cars are wasted on the worst drivers.” (former Times colleague David Lazarus)
- –Bucketball’s least-used weapon: the bounce pass.
- –Football fans treat Tom Brady like a disgraced Danish king. The level of dislike has always seemed out of proportion to his issues.
- –Trivia answer: Swift has never performed at a Super Bowl halftime. Maybe when she’s more popular?
- –For the record, I preferred “Hill Street Blues” to “The Sopranos.” Both great, Hill Street better.
- –Funny Netflix show we just stumbled across: “Friends From College.”
- –Oxymoron of the day: Waterless urinal
- –Onomatopoeia of the day: the digital chirp.
- –FYI, I just might broast a chicken this weekend.
- –Thank God for newspapers.
- –Thank God for God and art and movies that move us.
- –Seen any lately?
- –“She turned to the sunlight
And shook her yellow head,
And whispered to her neighbor:
‘Winter is dead.’”
(A.A. Milne)
Email the columnist at Letters@ChrisErskineLA.com. For books or past columns, please go to ChrisErskineLA.com
Super-duper easy Super Bowl treat: See that pizza? We used Trader Joe’s premade dough (about 3 bucks, though by the time you read this, it might be $5). Lightly flour pizza pan or cookie sheet. Pre-bake the dough alone at 450 for three minutes. Remove from oven and smear on a layer of tomato sauce, then add toppings of your choice. If you use sausage, I recommend browning on the stove first. Somehow, Jimmy Dean’s breakfast sausage works fine. Otherwise, ingredients such as mushrooms, red onion, pepper, pepperoni will all cook with the pizza. Top with some grated mozzarella — you don’t need too much cheese. Shove back in the oven for 10-12 minutes and you’re done. I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I actually prefer the veggie version to the meaty ones. Or, you can do 50-50, as in the photo. This is better than almost any takeout. Happy Super Bowl!