We’re back in California, that Greek myth, a state that flew too close to the sun.
Category: Road trips
IT’S A BOY!!!
After Smartacus left, White Fang became an ironic, super-bored princess -- you know the type. Shaggy manes. Legs like palm trees. Look so great climbing out of a pool.
Packing Up Freshman Year
"We're going to the North Pole," I tell her. Actually, we're off to fetch Smartacus, her cheeky sidekick, her partner in grime.
On the Road Again
By the end of this roadtrip, I'm quite smitten with your basic, garden-variety giraffe.
Skip the Ruskie Vodka
Soon, the clocks will change. Pollen will coat the window sills. The sun will blast the flowers, turn them into hard candy. Boy and girls will drop easy pop flies.
Snoopy Has a Hangover
I recommend this red wine as a cure-all for insomnia, disenchantment, athlete’s foot, hair loss, gout. This isn’t Gatorade they’re pouring. It’s more like a bloody steak. Yum.
Cabernet Sunsets
I’m spending Mardi Gras with my own personal Bacchus (Bittner) up here amid the grapes. “Sonoma,” they call it. Rhymes with coma.
Welcome to LA
Welcome, Super Bowl visitors. We have a river that’s not actually a river -- your icemaker probably has more juice. And in Pasadena, there’s a Lake Street but no lake.
Starry, Starry Nights
It's all the simple stuff, really -- the walks, the moonlit nights, the pancakes. When you inhale up here, it’s so much better. When you exhale, it smells like pine.
Hidden Punchlines
As you may know, I come from very humble beginnings. I was born in a DMV line in Woodstock, Illinois.