You know, they once said of Cary Grant, “He made men seem like a good idea.”
With me, they say, “He made men seem kinda…I don’t know…meh?”
Yet, I would say that of these warmer months: “Summer makes California seem like a good idea.”
Landed with a thud at Burbank the other night — could you feel it? Half-expected the 737’s landing gear to come up through the floor. But once the crew’s screams subsided and the bolts quit spinning, the big bird lumbered gently to the gate.
Like I say, everything turns out all right in the end.
Returned from visiting Smartacus at college – my son, my magnum focus. As noted, his apartment was a total mess (there appeared to have been some sort of struggle). Turns out, it was just four guys living sloppily in off-campus housing.
“Nothing to worry about here, Dad. We’ll get to those moldy pizza boxes in time. We haven’t even seen one mouse yet.”
So much youthiness. I could barely take it. By the second day, I was considering a nose ring, just to fit in. Then I said to myself: “Self, what happens if you sneeze? Do you jingle?”
The Pacific Northwest, where Smartacus is colleging, is like a cup of chocolate tea. Seems intriguing at first – just the concept of chocolate mingling so suggestively with the tea. But three sips later, you’re kind of over it.
Similarly, Oregon’s chronic mist. After four days, jungle rot sets in. So yeah, I was over it, though the green in the trees – like wads of cash money – threatens to lure me here permanently. I’ve always been smitten by deep dark forests and their Bilbo Baggins secrets.
The California sunshine has spoilt me though, I’ll confess – made me more optimistic than I would like, especially given the social turbulence we’re seeing everywhere.
You gotta live, right? We’re one solar flare from oblivion. Besides, I like breeding lilacs out of the dead land, as per T.S. Eliot.
So, took a stroll to the Hollywood Bowl the other night, grabbing Suzanne’s hand as we walked up Highland, like I once did with my old pal Bittner. Real affection is in the little gestures, my fingerprints pressed into her fingerprints.
I’m happy to report the Bowl has grown up healthy and strong. It’s now the LAX of concert venues. There is the strangest satisfaction – almost a bodily release — when you finally plop into your airplane seat at LAX, having survived the chutes and ladders of the world’s most-demanding airfield.
So it is with the Bowl. When you finally plop into your seat … ahhhhhhhhh.
On the marquee this night, four comics, including comedy’s reigning pope, Jerry Seinfeld. He’s the last to come out on stage, and the weakest of the lineup, but an audience always grants the pope some slack.
Look, I admire Pope Seinfeld. You don’t make a billion bucks in comedy for nothing. Me, I can barely afford my freaky Freudian shrink.
Yet, in his act, as in many standup acts today, there is that Seinfeldian tendency to avoid sentiment. There are just jokes.
Dude, do we ever need jokes! Yet perhaps not this many? Perhaps a deep breath is in order and any sign of an inner light. Or pathos. Or a pulse.
In the end, I found his act sort of disconcerting, like when the toilet doesn’t fully flush, hinting at some sort of clog.
FYI, my new parking hack at the Bowl is to abandon the car down at Hollywood & Highland, at the big public lot near the Lowe’s Hotel, then chug up the hill (a leisurely 15-minute walk).
Or, there’s this public garage on Las Palmas, between Franklin and Hollywood Boulevard, that’s out of the scrum of frantic Hollywood. It’s also an easy walk to Musso & Frank or that legendary think tank Boardner’s, a bar where you can actually order a shot of hemp, if you’re that much into hemp.
I share these tips knowing you will tell no one else.
Because I want you back at the Bowl this summer, for some much-needed group therapy in a seething and restless world.
There is something medicinal in the twilight of this ancient canyon, painted as it is in harps and French horns … jokes and jazz men … fireworks … fingerprints.
Where there is history, there is hope.
And the Bowl is L.A.’s renaissance fair.
Pssssst, don’t forget the free Thursday rehearsals at the Bowl, featuring the Philharmonic. Not every week, but often, from 9:30 a.m. to noon. To confirm, call the Bowl (some guest performers prefer closed practices). The number is (323) 850-2000, ext. 2, then ext. 9. You can call for the schedule as early as the Monday before. As I said, the rehearsals are free, as is parking. And when does that ever happen?
Meanwhile, thanks to Blaine Fetter and the California Club for having me in to chat about life and books and gin & tonics last week. To schedule an appearance, please email Letters@ChrisErskineLA.com. I’ll come to almost anything for almost any reason. Which is kinda crazy, actually.
Meanwhile II: Please come celebrate a new book honoring Vin Scully: “Perfect Eloquence.” It’s a new collection of essays by sportscasters, players and writers, including Bob Costas, Al Michaels, Orel Hershiser, Ross Porter, Joe Davis and me, among others.
Sunday, May 19 at 4:30 p.m.: Pages bookstore in Manhattan Beach for official launch party.
Monday, May 20 at 7 p.m.: Vroman’s in Pasadena, for a signing and group discussion with some of the book’s contributors.
May 18: A Happy Hour Hiking Club adventure, details to come.
Coming Saturday: Hey Doc, is that a medical device or a bug zapper?
I personally don’t think you can ever be TOO optimistic. Jokes certainly help us keep some kind of emotional balance amidst the current crazy negativity in the world. Your posts certainly help me maintain some sense of optimism and balance. Thank you. Oh and I highly recommend the new Seinfeld movie on Netflix, “Unfrosted,” about the war between Kellog’s and Post to invent a successful toaster pastry. It picks up steam as it goes. I laughed out loud through much of it. All star cast too.
There is a Hollywood Bowl Park and Ride Bus that leaves from Ramona St., which is near the Pasadena City Hall. You can also catch those buses from several other locations in the city.
Thanks for the tip!
For a little more sentiment to the humor I like Mike Birbiglia, specifically his “The Old Man and the Pool”. Saw him at the Ahmanson, he brought out every emotion that you want to feel at a live show.
I was at that same show and totally agree with you about Seinfeld…sort of a letdown. Maybe he truly peaked when his show was airing. But it was a fun night out nevertheless. And we got free Pop Tarts.
If you’ve been following the socials lately, meh isn’t so bad for a man. It seems that we have turned into a world where a woman would rather run into a bear on the trail.
In re 737 landing – struck a chord! As a private pilot in my (long ago) youth, and an aerospace engineer who always desired a window seat, we recently touched down in Phoenix pretty hard! (as in, that’s a lot of runway you gave up there!) Needless to say, the crew were not there to welcome us on exit. . .
Leaving to Europe soon, please no more scary stories! It seems every day there’s a new mishap ugh…
Love the Bowl! I don’t care who is appearing. Entertainment al fresco w wine and holding someone’s hand !
Always loved going to the Bowl — some years ago tho we parked in the lot and walked up Highland — easy peasy right? Except our car got locked in after the event — we went home and had to come back again much later on to pick it up. — fortunately didn’t live that far away!
Loved your comment re your son’s apt mess — “looked like some kind of struggle”!! Gave me a huge laugh — thanks much!!
Chris, I share your sentiment about Eugene, Oregon. It truly is a nice place to visit, the greenery, trees everywhere you look, but soon enough, it begins to feel like I am trapped in a time warp. And, “Oregon” time is a real thing—half a beat too slow and no one seems to notice or care. Seriously, how much tie-dye can any one person own? Not to mention the handcrafted coffee mugs and flannel shirts. Give me CA’s sunshine, crowds and traffic; I will muster through, always have, always will.
“My magnum Focus”. Worthy of Seinfeld: subtle, word play, mildly amusing, with a little head nodding depth. Your oeuvre. Seinfeld has never been laugh-out-loud funny, lacking the brilliant antic nuttiness of Robin Williams, Jonathan Winters, Caesar and Coca, Burnett and Korman and Conway, Kovacs, et al. He headed up an inventively written and beautifully cast T.V. Series, and was more an integrative conductor of mayhem than a comedic player. At his best he approaches the droll , slightly acidic, eyebrow raised edge of shared observation—sort of a mild Mort Sahl or bemused Bob Newhart. He is a gentle would-be humorist—you can doze on his words; this not a bad place for an audience to be in the comedic zeitgeist of frenetic, foul mouthed nastiness that currently prevails, but how he became an elder statesman of comedy is beyond me. If George Carlin were alive, he could claim that title because of his depth.
At The Bowl: Buble’ is fronting a season-opening show June 23, and I’ll be there. He has great voice control and range, a seasoned yet somehow youthful agility, and Sinatra’s vocal energy and deft touch with phrasing and lyrics that place his work with the standards in the canon of the best. But the parking… an agonizing demonstration of management disregard for customer ease or satisfaction; just dumb. Still, here comes Summer, baybee.
Buble’ is the best. A true crooner. Like him and Harry Connick Jr. Both at the Bowl this summer.
Love the Bowl. Just went for the Jimmy Buffett tribute. There is now a shuttle from the LA Zoo leaving every half hour 2 hours prior to showtime. Well worth the ten dollars
Yep, love the zoo shuttle. I this case, we didn’t have time but try to use it when I can.
Quite a humorous article in which I did chuckle maybe once or twice especially when you landed as well as visiting your son. I hope you can make a visit to Irvine but you won’t have to walk up a hill but look at our lakes in Woodbridge. A side note I kept Rams defensive stats for Dick Enberg and was good friends with Steve Bisheff too
Hi Doc, wasn’t Enberg the best? What a great memory.
Another Bowl parking hack, and this one doesn’t go into the coffers of the already-wealthy: park at Hollywood United Methodist Church (NW corner of Highland/Franklin). No stacking(!) and all proceeds go to the church, which like most these post-COVID days, can use every extra dollar.
Love this! Thank you. Have a great weekend.