According to the Realtor, our house was built almost entirely from Christmas trees too crooked to be sold, outcasts from a dark little lot on the steamy side of town. That probably explains the sappy kitchen floors. And the heightened holiday vibe.
Voltaire wrote, “God is a comedian, playing to an audience too afraid to laugh.”
Yet, God also gave us Christmas.
In recent years, it’s been hijacked by commercial interests, including “a big Eastern syndicate,” according to my favorite animated special.
Since the ’60s, when advertisers got their clammy hands on it, Christmas has been mangled, bangled, strangled and sold.
My mantra is that money ruins everything, yet it can’t quite seem to ruin Christmas. Hold on to your silk undies and your Red Ryder BB guns; Christmas might be the most eternal thing we know.
Doesn’t matter your wobbly faith, your skepticism, your stubborn data-driven empiricism, you have to acknowledge that Jesus was the very first superhero, followed by Santa, then Schwarzenegger, in that order.
Hollywood, where it seldom snows and mercy is as rare as Welsh rabbit, has since filled our holidays with a whole slew of superheroes. George Bailey. Clark Griswold. Rudolph. That pasty-looking kid in “Home Alone” who kind of annoyed me, to be honest.
Oh, and don’t forget the luminous Donna Reed (as if any man can). If it were up to me, I’d personally chisel her onto Mt. Rushmore.
As you know, Christmas is all about miracles discovered by semi-flawed individuals who at some point couldn’t find their own feet.
Yeah, God is a comedian, all right.
Dickens flagged the cold-hearted hypocrisy in the holidays, and we’ve never quite fully absorbed his profound lessons. Notice all the car commercials on the telly of late? At Christmas, the ultimate holiday wish arrives with leather seats and enough tech to stump your 12-year-old.
Each December, my kids ask for a gift list, and each year it grows a little shorter. All I want, I respond, is them on the couch with a big bowl of popcorn, all of us watching some John Hughes classic. All I want is a family feast where no one goes ballistic over congressional redistricting
As the song says, all I want for Christmas is you.
And friends too. One Christmas Eve, back in the Posh Dynasty, we opened the house to friends and ended up with the most ridiculous sing-along you ever heard.
It’s common knowledge that no one remembers more than three Christmas carols, start to finish. Me, I know about half of one (.05 percent of all Christmas classics).
Yet, there we stood around the kitchen island, laptops open to the lyrics, singing the most-mangled version of “Chestnuts” you ever heard. We sounded like a bunch of over-served Packers fans slurring our cheers.
It was, in a word, wonderful.
Sure, some alcohol might have been involved. And a 90-proof sense of kinship. The more we sang, the more we laughed. The more we laughed, the more we drank. I think 12 people slept on the couch with the dogs.
Hey, is that what Christmas is all about Charlie Brown?
Let me tell you what Christmas is all about.
Lights, please:
It is the most bustling and ethereal of holidays. It seems crafted of feathers and fellowship, light dustings of snow and palm trees wrapped in colored lights.
It’s deer tracks through the woods on a Christmas morning hike. It’s that noisy corner tavern with the steamy windows. It’s Ebenezer Scrooge breaking into sobs.
Christmas makes us moody; it’s mulled wine and martinis that blush.
Yet, you can’t define Christmas any more than you can define faith or secret crushes. It sneaks up on you, Christmas does. You believe in it fully as a small child, fall for all its mawkish myths, then wise up as you age, finally falling for it all over again as you get older and wiser.
After all these years, I don’t know why we love it so, except for the spontaneous celebrations that pop up around kitchen islands, or the third pew, or on a late-night flight from New York to the coast when everyone’s shockingly kind to each other.
No other holiday generates such mirth and magic. No other holiday lights up our homes and crooked fir trees.
I can’t really define this holiday, nor ever do it justice. I just enjoy it, cheesy ads and all.
“Merry Christmas, darling,” the old song goes.
Merry Christmas indeed.
Merry Christmas… touching words to the soul.
Thank you. Merry Christmas!
Merry Christmas ,Chris and lets hope for a better News Year. Thank you for all your posts have enjoyed each and every one.
Marjorie, thanks so much! Merry Christmas!
“It sneaks up on you. Christmas does.” Kind of like one of your posts. It begins on one train of thought and the train sometimes ends up on another track. I love the bon mot gems and surprise laughs often hidden in your writing. It’s like unwrapping a present and it turns out to be something better than you even imagined. Thank you for another Christmas filled with your warm, smiley, touching posts. You bring out the best in the Season for us and always remind us to appreciate all the special little moments that end up being lifetime memories. Merry Christmas to you and your wonderful clan, Chris. You are truly a gift.
Awwww, too kind, Caroll. You have a way with words yourself. Merry, merry Christmas.
Chris, I believe reading you all these years has seeped into my subconscious and inspired me to make my own writing better. I strive to express myself in fresher ways because of you. Thanks for that, too!
Merry Christmas Chris and to all of yours🎄 You just keep adding to the memories of an Eriskine Christmas. I’m here in Lake G with all of my greats and grands, bedlam, love every minute of it. 🎄
Barb, sounds perfect. Best to everyone.
You are a Christmas gift indeed. Blessings to you and your beautiful family. Enjoy every moment, especially with your grandchildren as they experience the magic only Christmas brings. The family photo is magnificent!
Thanks Lisa. Props to Ashley Walker, the professional photographer (AshleyWalkerPhotography.com). Kids gave me a photo session for my birthday, and Ashley knocked it outta the park.
Merry Christmas, Chris!
Right back, atcha! Enjoy every moment!
Merry Christmas, Chris…love the family photo. I know how hard it is to score a winner with those. Oh, and I thought it was “rarebit” [sorry!].
Hi Andy, good eye. Yes, sometimes it’s Welsh rarebit, and other times Welsh rabbit. I chose rabbit for clarity. But I’m sure a lot of readers think I muffed the bunny.
Thanks for calling up the lights for your Linus-esque Christmas soliloque – each word deserved the brightest of all spotlights and Christmas lights. Merry Christmas to you and all of your readers. Thanks for your gifts that we get to open twice a week.
Hi Mike, thanks for the note. Merry Christmas to you and yours. I assume you’re doing the cooking?
Thank you for the fabulous family portrait and the happiness it shows. Thanks too, for the great postings all year long. Merry Christmas, friend. Time to make mousse pâté and open some wine (at 8:41 am…).
Go for it! I like the way you celebrate!
I see I’m about 5 minutes behind my neighbor and friend Mike. Blame it on my reading his own marvelous Christmas post before yours. Merry Christmas to you and yours Chris and thank you so much for always brightening my days. I LOVED this about new cars: ” Notice all the car commercials on the telly of late? At Christmas, the ultimate holiday wish arrives with leather seats and enough tech to stump your 12-year-old.” I have NO idea how to operate most of the stuff on our newer cars and even they are old. Merry Christmas!
Bill, I wish there were a section on the dealers’ lots for “mature buyers.” I’d trade all the tech for simplicity!
Merry, Merry & Happy, Happy, Mr. Erskine – to you and your loving brood. Thankful for all your musings this year, and looking forward to enjoying all your 2026 offerings! – R
That spectacular mantel is gorgeous! So westside LA! Must be the SilverHaired Lady’s. You’re a very lucky old man!
Ha! That’s actually the mantel at the Lake Arrowhead Resort and Spa, which I highly recommend for a weekend getaway.
Merry Christmas Chris! You did it again with another gem.
Your family photo is wonderful…….hope you all have a super Christmas. BTW: You got me with the older times when your guests all ended up sleeping on the couch with the dogs!! CLASSIC!
Merry Christmas to you, Suzanne and your family! Thank you for the Christmas post and for another year of touching, insightful, twisty-turny, funny and heartwarming posts. Always makes me stop, slow down and think. We lost my mom (Dolores, almost 94) last summer so Christmas feels different this year without her but we are treasuring the memories ☺️That family photo you took is absolutely amazing! Love all the pics!
Bonnie, so sorry about your mom. That first Christmas without them is the hardest. Hugs to all.
Merry, Merry & Happy, Happy, Mr. Erskine – to you and your loving brood. Thankful for all your musings this year, and looking forward to enjoying all your 2026 offerings! – R
Thanks, Roswell. Here’s to all the smiles ahead.
I’m thinking of watching the Charlie Brown Christmas movie tonight. It’s too wet to wait in the stand-by line for the sold out “It’s a Wonderful Life”!
Cakes looks like a capeless superheroine in her red bow-tied costume!
Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night … And God bless us everyone!
Enjoy! Merry Christmas, Kay!
Chris, you are a gift all year-round, and for that I thank you for your humor, wisdom, and gentle reminders of what really matters…and what isn’t worth fretting about. Thanks, too, for sharing the photos of your beautiful family, especially the magnificent group shot and yes, wee, teary Puddles and Cakes with Santa. My week with my son and DIL ends tomorrow, and it was absolutely one of the best weeks of my life. Wishing you and yours a wonderful Christmas and New Year.
Congrats on the great visit. Family is everything! Merry Christmas.
Chris, I have laughed, cried and celebrated with you for many, many years. I look forward to every article you write. You give me hope that there can be happy days again after tragedy. Your family photo is lovely! Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!
Debbie, so grateful that you’ve followed me for so many years. Here’s to the laughs and smiles ahead! Best, Chris
Best christmas photo: cakes and tp screaming on santa’s lap ~ ~ yeah ! !
Such a busy time now, and I think the pressure to get so much done squeezes some joy out of the moments leading up to the anointed morning. Even so, surmounting the final moments has an undeniable thrill somewhere in its exhaustion, for….
Here It Comes
At last the hours, and a corner turned
Hanukkah lilting and sighing closed
At sunset, lights of Christmas twinkling
And blazing up and down the dark streets
Of vast tapestries of towns at night;
The grand explosion of holiday
Just ahead like a fiery sparkling
Volcanic eruption in the sky
Just over time’s lambent horizon–
Waiting for the hurtling breathless eye
To top the glowing ridge and then plunge
Into the swirling kaleidoscope
Of magma and sweet singing softness
Crystalline with joy that is Christmas;
One is unaware of being burned
By a strange flame, yet the heat disclosed
In tell-tail rushing is an inkling
Of the singeing sensation that meets
The drifting smoke of the bright day right
Before its ignition, and the way
Ahead seems to undulate and sing
With abstractions even as its high
Mountain of undone blots Winter’s run
Last stunned by the solstice, whose quick wry
Change in direction made sunlight lunge
For the stars once more, awash in hope
Of light vanquishing the cold darkness
That had chilled the spirit with its mass
Incarceration of love’s photons;
But now: Christmas! With its thousand suns…
The family image is your best ever, as it includes all of the family~~as Christmas must.
Merry Christmas!!!!!
One of your best, my friend. Merry Christmas!
You have a lovely family,
Merry Christmas! Cathy
Thank you, Cathy. Merry Christmas!